"If The Lord Can Lead You To It, He Can Lead You Through It" Let's talk about Gang Stalking for a second

(If you don't read the first part of the title with the thickest southern drawl you can muster, then bless your heart, you ain't one of my kinfolk. But stick around anyway, suga', 'cause I sure could use your support too! Much obliged)

On this day, Sunday, December 15, 2024 at 2:35 pm

I've listened to this song more times than anyone would care to count. It has become a staple in my life, particularly when I'm at my lowest, like today.

I had a pretty good night and day all the way until a reminder of my constant companion reared its ugly little head. (WARNING: From here, I digress off a cliff and into oblivion and I never come back. If you wanna know ask me. It's an embarrassing topic that I am not looking forward to discussing, although it is SO PRESENT in my life that I won't be able to not discuss for long. Hopefully, I can stick it in somewhere and it does not become the only thing everyone knows about me before they get to know me. Now back to your delightfully disorganized program.)

If I may steal a moment of your time, I'd like to propose a thought exercise. Imagine for a moment that you have a stalker. This stalker's delight is to inconvenience, disrupt, and cause you dismay in whatever way that they can. This stalker's entire MO is to do all of this just below the radar. They leave no physical evidence of their misdeeds so as to continue their harassment for however long he or she feels they are tasked with ensuring your discomfort in whatever fashion they can, while remaining undetected.

The goal of your stalker is to harass, bully, and gaslight you in an effort to make you behave in a manner that is unacceptable, even to you. He or she wants to make you look crazy to the entire outside world. You know exactly what is happening to you, and you have never doubted your grasp on reality, but they want you to question yourself and in doing so they attempt manipulate your perception and warp your reality and worldview.

So the first question you may ask yourself is, why? Why would someone care this much about me? What have I done to deserve all of this attention? Who would seek to cause "non-physical" harm, misery, and ultimately destruction to you and your livelihood? This person or persons that are harassing you seemingly have no connection to you and you wouldn't recognize any of them if you were asked to pick them out of a line up, which means that they were hired to intimidate and harass you. The service that these individuals are delivering to you cannot be cheap. Who would have the desire and means to carry out such a thing?

 [In an effort to not appear like a crazy person from jump street, I didn't want to broach this topic until quite a bit later in my writings. This however is my daily life now and it underpins just about every move I make these days. It saddens me to write these words. But it makes more sense to lay my cards on the table now so that I don't have to keep thinking up creative ways to toe around the daily occurrences of my life. This shit is unbelievably hard and my heart goes out to anyone else going through anything similar.

In an effort to continue appearing not crazy, when I write on this subject I will attempt to be as neutral as possible I will only try to relay to you my recollection of an event and the way it made me feel only. I will leave it up to you to decide if I've lost my marbles.

Also, currently, if you do a google search for gang-stalking, the results are woefully disheartening to someone actually experiencing it. If that someone is you please connect with me in the comments and on our community page. And know, that I believe you and no one should have to deal with the things that you've had to put up with. Join me as I attempt to get to the root of this seeming gang-stalking industry that appears to based out of Phoenix from what I've been able to gather. Did I mention there is so much for me to talk about? Now that I'm finally published I'm sure that I'll have nightmares about how to accurately convey the scale of this shadow organization and the impact that it has had on me. I was fortunate enough to have Ella's account of what happened to her to understand my reality but many do not receive such grace and as such, they often wind up in mental institutions, like Ella, or much much worse. I used Ella's experience to guide my path forward and likewise I hope to provide this to others]

Heavy, right?  I am very aware of how crazy it sounds but just grant me this point as I continue with my story.

Now let's put that to one side. We will return to it in due course.

I learned that I was being stalked maybe a year or so ago. It had gotten so blatant and brazen that I had no choice but to stand up and take notice.

Imagine someone has a crush on you but is also the shiest person in the world. When you start talking to anyone, they get jealous and do what they can to make sure you see their jealousy and that you are sorely inconvenienced by their malicious machinations.

It began with coincidences, not all of them bad though. It was almost as if they just wanted me to know they were there; that he or she was watching and was with subtle overtness judging me. When I finally acknowledged their existence, or when I finally called the police, to lodge a complaint about my nameless faceless assailant, I was met at first with mild bemusement, a refusal to even investigate or even take interest in my plea for help, and then outright disrespect when Phoenix police finally decided to show up.

After the police left, the true hell began. The frustration is real so real that I wrote up some guidelines or a rulebook on how to behave when you find out you're being stalked (after it is published, which will be very soon, the link will be posted here).

What is important for anyone experiencing this to know is: If you begin to suspect that you are being gang stalked, NEVER EVER acknowledge your stalker or stalkers, no matter what they do. Stay around trusted individuals as often as you can. (If you are a loner like me, you are, in their eyes, 100% USDA roast beef, tender and juicy, that is to say, their easiest target. Remember, you are not alone! I'm going to devote myself to uncovering or designing and building some resources that may help, More on this later). If you don't have people that you can be around, do the next best thing, video call people or join a club, find a hobby that puts you near other folks, even if you aren't interacting with them. It's much harder for these types to deploy their insidious tactics when there are other people around. Harder=\= impossible, so stay on your toes. Finally, if I might tweak a british slogan from WW2; Keep calm, carry on, and never let them see you cry/sweat/worry. Do your best to give nothing away because if you show even an ounce of weakness, they will eat that shit up like it's Sunday dinner.

Someone said to me once, if he or she isn't paying your bills then why do you care about what this or that someone says or does? As long as it doesn't interfere with what you got going on then let them say or do whatever the fuck they want. Stay focused on the business that pays you! Finally, finally, Stay Alert, Document everything (this can help you narrow down the responsible party as well), and move with the utmost care and caution. Keep in mind that just because these stalkers will not physically engage with you face-to-face does not mean that they won't attempt to drive you toward situations that are dangerous of even deadly. Also, obstacles will intentionally be placed in your path by those seeking to do harm unto you. You must move with agility, precision, and grace whenever you can to overcome these obstacles while never letting them see you sweat. None of these occurrences or supposed coincidences should ever be allowed to determine the type of day you're having, so get out there and have a good day on purpose!

Whoops! We went way out on this one. Imma sorta bring us back. Hopefully the whip lash isn't too jarring 😅.

Maybe around the time that I began to take notice of the things happening to me, my sister, who I had been relaying the crazy and bizarre happenings in my life at the time told me about Ella Gorgla. Ella was a former executive director at Estee Lauder. She decided to stand up and speak out against injustices she witnessed while working there, mainly regarding racism and inequality. She along with 20+ other black women that worked for the company signed a letter to leadership of the company. The letter was ignored but no long following Ella began to notice strange occurrences in her life. Her TikTok channel is well worth a moment of your time. It's horrifying but everyone needs to know about stories like Ella's, I wish I had learned of her before I was targeted; Forewarned is Forearmed. I'm hoping to pass this on to everyone in the hopes that I can bring down the secret leaders behind this shadowy cartel and bring an end to this malicious passive aggression and to equip those that may need it with a bit of knowledge that might someday save a life. I don't know how long gang stalking has been a thing but for anyone that has experienced it the way that I have, they know that the victims of this form of bullying and intimidation are particularly susceptible to suicide and other forms of self-harm. Luckily, I did remember something about gang stalking from years ago, I think it may have been apart of a news broadcast forever and a day ago but I have been unable to find it, this little piece of knowledge saved my life, provided me with perspective, and it help to still my resolve until I was able to build this website to share my experiences with others who may be needing some support and encourage or god-forbid are going through similar experiences to mine.

As I'm watching Ella's story I couldn't help but notice the similarities between her situation and the trials that I was recently dealing with. Her story shares many of the elements of my own. Covert intimidation, harassment, and bullying by a seemingly innocuous means. Like being followed everywhere she goes. Seeing people spraying some mysterious substance near my front door. Odd noises/ voices in my lonely home. The list goes on and on.

Initially I was excited because I finally understood what was happening to me. I, at the very least, had not dreamed up all of the strange occurrences happening on a seemingly daily basis in my life. I commented on one of her posts expressing my belief in what she was trying to tell everyone was happening to her and an attempt to try to encourage her as she navigated the endless bullying (a role, I'm at this point intimately familiar with). I felt that it was lackluster, She probably would never read it and my words would get lost in the ether. But I also knew, how much my words would mean to me, if even a single person in my life believed enough in me to utter them to me.

It's going to take me a while to navigate through the quagmire thrust upon me, but if there is one thing I know for certain, it's that my resolve is not so weak as to not attempt to at least stand up to those who seek to persecute me. What's more, it has ignited a drive in me to unmask my tormentors and expose the means by which they carry out their insidious work. How though? Where should I start? What should I do now?

I don't have all the answers just yet, in the meantime, I have resigned to just write it all down and put it out here as a testament for myself and anyone who cares to read it. In particular, I really hope that this gets seen by individuals who are experiencing seemingly unexplainable things happening to them, that to all appearances, has a malicious undertone. (Please know that you are not alone. I believe in you. Please join our community for support.)

These things that are happening to me are not only in my head, I'd say often to myself, in an effort to comfort and self-soothe. As my 4tth grade teacher used to say on an almost daily basis, "I am neither blind, cripple, nor crazy." (I realize that it's no longer PC to say cripple, but it's a direct quote, you can take it up with her lol) But, it gives me strength whenever I recall it. It also makes me chuckle and provides me with a moment of levity when I'm feeling down, because it wasn't until years later that the irony of this statement struck me. (I wanna say her name was) Mrs. Brooks (?) wore big thick tinted glasses that magnified her eyes many times their natural size, she walked everywhere very slowly and with a walking stick and she wore pads on her ankles, and she had this gigantic afro straight from the 70's (which, by the looks of it, had enough hair product in it to keep the Asian family that ran the beauty supply she shopped at fed for an entire winter),during my time in elementary school in the late 90s. I have many fond memories of this woman whose name I can barely remember. That is the little piece of her I'll carry with me for the rest of my life. (edit: Ms, Brooks or was it…., no I'm 93% certain it was Brooks. Now, please kindly just roll your eyes at my neuroticism and keep reading, I still have segways that go nowhere to share.)(edit#2: On my second pass editing I've edited the sense out of my previous edit. I'm gonna leave it though for the sake of posterity or something.)

I'm of the belief that you carry a little piece of everyone that comes into your life and leaves an impression on your soul. I have a million little pieces [if you'll forgive the stolen line, title, whatever… Which if I'm remembering correctly was itself stolen, so there I no longer feel bad or whatever.)] from all of the impactful moments that have happened to me over my 35 years of life. (This has been another segway that goes nowhere, brought to you by undiagnosed Adult Attention Deficit Disorder and our special co-sponsor, unhealed trauma responses

So I realize how far off topic we got, but I'm not going to change a thing. Partly because I need to publish something and I'm too lazy to keep trying to figure out what my first post is going to be and this has the added benefit of letting me off the hook for that monumentous decision and simultaneously lowers your expectation of what you thought you were going to get here (yes, I know monumentous isn't a word, but did you see what I did there? Eh? Eh? 😬. ((I'll see myself out 🫡😅)). And partly because I feel good about this post (and I feel I've done enough writing today). Hopefully I managed to set the tone that I want to convey and got you wondering where we'll go next. We are going to answer the questions I posed above, eventually.

So this is it. There is sooooo much more to come (overstressed emphasis on the "so" just in case that slipped your notice). That is unless no one takes notice or interest. I'll probably continue regardless for a little while, for the sake of catharsis, and because I paid all this money for this platform {You listen here, mister! Even if no one takes an interest this was still a worthwhile thing to do for the knowledge, experience, and opportunity to reflect and gain some much-needed catharsis on this road to healing and prosperity. And the money you've paid is the reason that you are gonna keep writing here at least until your lease on this domain runs out, YOU HEAR ME!!!!!}🫢👀|(So, a quick aside. I have this sometimes-angry voice in my head that occasionally shouts encouragement, reinforces my practice of radical positivity (lots to say about this one, later tho) and common sense at me. He's a demon really but he's almost never wrong) | I'm hoping that I am able to stand apart from all the other bloggers out there doing the same thing as me by writing for you all with minimal use of ChatGPT. I'm not even gonna use to check my grammar and spelling. I may use it to create outlines and help me structure my thoughts, and other ancillary tasks. If AI is used more extensively on a post I provide clear notice of its use at the top of the blog page.

Where do we go from here? Well, I asked a lot of questions above. Many of those questions led me to conclusions that at one time seemed completely impossible to me. I'm going to share all of this will you in this blog including the moments for which the blog is named. I'll try to keep to a general schedule and topic in time, at the present however, I just need to get out what's on my mind at the time onto the page and so it may be a bit jumbled. We may go back and forth in time. I may come completely out of left field one day because such is my life these days. Left field. I never know what will happen next, the same can be said by everyone, I know, but there are very few that mean it quite like I do.

Please keep me honest in the comments. I'm just getting started so I will be in the comments on all of these posts, at least in these early days. If you have a question about something I've written, please don't be shy to ask me about it. I'm literally bursting at the seams to get this out but it's also sometimes challenging due to everything that life and "random chance" seems to throw my way these days and also being pretty sure that I have undiagnosed ADHD but that is a subject for another blog post. Before I sign off, I have to ask that you please consider donating, if you are able. I built this website on my own and spent many many hours on the design, the build, the posts, and I am doing it on my own, on top of attempting to pay a mortgage that I low-key cannot afford. I want my content and the experience here at A New Nightmare to always be free but I need your help to keep it that way and to keep these posts (AHH, MY VERY FIRST BLOG POST ON MY VERY FIRST WEBSITE!!!!!) coming in a timely manner. Subscribers will get early access to the blog so please sign up and subscribe (or even start your own blog here in the community section (it's coming soon)).

Yours in radical positivity, peace, and love,

Shawn H

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****** News reports like this have likely killed people. They need to take this down and try again with more fairness and less bias.